I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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