capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
