he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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