More tranny stories later!
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
