wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
