I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
