how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
