Just cropdusted the office
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
