Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
