he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
How external is "for external use only"?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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