So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
