if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
