hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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