I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
