I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
