I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize