Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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