I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
