I think i peed on brittanys purse
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
