When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I still have a little drunk in my system
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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