We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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