the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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