Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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