I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
