tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
