put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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