Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Randomize
