My room smells like vodka and shame
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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