There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
