didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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