think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
