Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
