only if we run a train.
done.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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