I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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