i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
