I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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