JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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