Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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