This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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