I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Drake has all the answers
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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