You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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