Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
