we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We left the knife in your bed.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
