this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
