When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
