i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
foreskin is a definite game changer
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
