OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
