No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
