Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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