I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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