And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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