just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i think i just lost a toe
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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