Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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