I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
