I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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