If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
