youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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