You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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