Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
