do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
